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I Wish It Was A Dream: "10 PM Manila time (Nov 24, 2017), My Precious Loving Mum Lost Life". She Fought Hard. Fix Me!!! (This Is Not NSFW, It's Life And The Cheating It Brings.)

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surpassinggoogle
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last yearSteemit8 min read

One woman, Maria Wilma Ajayi Aranez suffered all her life and she kept suffering till the very end. I watched her suffer till the end. 

10 PM Manila time, my precious loving mum lost life. 

I watched the last 30 mins of her life as she suffered. They pumped her chest to resuscitate her for 30 minutes because she kept fighting. 

She wanted to live

The entire night to dawn on Thursday, there were 3 times, when she gasped for life itself; with doctors and nurses around her trying to stabilize her. I watched! 

Several times in these moments, she had opened her precious eyes and looked at me even in her livelessness, seeking my eyes for reassurance of help and i couldn't look back well enough. 

To continue saving her, she was moved to Intensive Care Unit, where they stabilized her, after which they started telling me to wait for hours, for my mum's demise. I was to decide whether, they should give her a shock-type resuscitation when her heart stops or let her go peacefully. 

I doubt i fought enough. There is so much cheating in life!

Even in her close-to-death hallucinations, she loved like crazy still. She prayed for us. She wanted her eyes, to be given to my dad, a special man, who fell under the weight of his hefty dreams, to dementia and glaucoma. 

As she died, all she did is love like crazy.

My dad doesn't know yet! Telling him can hurt is life. 

This year was when i had in mind to give my family a first whisper of good news, courtesy of me! In June, i ended up seeing my 3 sisters in Dubai after more than 4 years and all we drooled about, is of how we will have my mum go on a vacation to Dubai and Manila. 



We shopped for her while in Dubai. She was happy. She wore those clothes we bought her. She took pictures. She loved to see us; all her children together and she relished that, even moreso, than the vacation we planned for her.

I shed my tears here. I love her because she loved like crazy. She cared like crazy.
She didn't deserve this suffering, after all her years of suffering. 

I left her in November 2012, with hopes that my next physical whispers to her ears will be whispers of good news. 

In Sept 2017, she had her very first visit to the hospital, for she broke down really bad for the first time and she was seen to have leukemia. I wasn't with her. 

I did all levels of trauma away from her, here in Manila. It was unimaginable plus my mum had never fallen sick or visited a hospital except the times she bore us. Overall, i hurt away about my dad's case. It shocked me alot, when i heard of my mum's case.

Then a moment of respite came as she was then seen not to have any abnormal cells upon a second biopsy and sent home, without any medication. This is after she had done around two weeks of an almost unconscious state. 

Yes, after two weeks of not being able to talk or walk, she rose again.

During all this period, i was in disarray. I don't talk much or seek help much. I do push alot on my own.

I did trauma and loads of faith alone in Manila. The news from the doctors crushed me as they were didn't even the slightest positivity about my mum's chances of being restored to full life and they told us to hurry to see her, before a demise.. 

I kept on the faith and i kept pushing, the decision of whether to see her before she passed, to the last minute. On the day, that i was suppose to buy my ticket, i was told that my mum has picked up.

My sister hurried to see her from Dubai!


Yes my mum rose again and was discharged and even declared leukemia free, but only weeks later, she started to fall weak again and her blood count deteriorated really fast. 

One day around 2 or 3 weeks ago, she practically walked all the way to Manila on a 24 hour flight by herself, without food or energy. She was coming to see her only son.

She wasn't the mum i knew. My baby special mama has lost her shine to illness and she was no longer masking it well. She was ever positive that she would live. 

Hours after arrival, i was in the rains on the streets of Manila, looking for a hospital. I eventually got a hospital and admitted her and that began, my short time with my precious baby queen. Hospital after hospital till earlier today; Friday (Manila); her last day!

I feel like the hospitals played with her but i won't blame anything. I didn't fight enough either. I didn't take her to USA or something. 

I will continue this fight

I will continue this fight by loving like crazy. I will not turn cruel. I will love like crazy because even as she was losing life, she was loving like crazy. 

There is a ton, we will fix together, even by means of steem because the world can't go on like this, with so much undeserved cheating. 

I will keep this short!

I dedicate all my steemit journey and everything other thing i will create by means of steem e.g steemgigs interface, my "steemgigs" witness, untalented, steem-legacies, steemLab etc to my precious loving mama.

https://surpassinggoogle.com (another steem app) will fix many and i will dedicate the entire evolution of it, to my mum.

I started to run a full public RPC node "wss://steemd.steemgigs.org" to help the steem ecosystem, with an underlying reason being; to help me keep going, when i was doing trauma on my mum's bedside and i dedicate this as well to her. 

She wanted to be on steemit!

After her death a few hours ago, i was just broken and had to go home and tomorrow (later today), i will go back to the hospital to look at the bills and try to see how to settle it, so that i can remove my mama's special body from the holding room and into a morgue, where it will be planned the next steps for her funeral.

I held her lifeless body close. I loved it, i held it. She comforted me.


I have 3 sisters and i am the first. I passed the news to them. This isn't the news i wanted to bear. Thus, i will be bearer of good news towards as many as possible.

My dad is oblivious to all that is going on. I am not with him either and its going on 5 years. In his dementia and glaucoma state, the only voice who can tame his hurting heart, is my mama. He licks the plate, whenever he eats her cooking. Jehovah guide me on these decisions.

Even As I Hurt

I will restore my level of productivity on steemit as this journey of doing much good, is dedicated to my mama. 

These developing nations have to get better.

I love her so much but couldn't express enough. I will keep loving her by means of steemit.


If You Support Me, I Will Accept It This Point Because I Hurt; We Hurt!!!

I love you mumsy. After my bath tonight, i used your towel. I knew your precious natural aroma. It's all bliss; all special


Please Join This Contest If You Haven't. (I Dedicate It To My Mama)

  •  #untalented-mama: Join In, "Let's Write One Beautiful Steemit Post Each, That Will Invite Every Mama On Mama Earth To Steemit". Every Participant Will Be Rewarded For "Proof Of Heart"!

 

I do need strength

Dedicating My Entire Steem/Steemit Journey To My Mum

If you want to support an extra witness and you support mine "steemgigs", it will be really helpful, especially in terms of giving me the direly needed extra drive & strength. Overall, there is no doubt, that i  have been here on steemit, proven, solid and i will keep on being here!  Steemit is in my books and my heart has a soft spot for it and this will  keep on because upon it, i kept my legacies and even my sad stories and most utmostly, i get to have awesome YOU. 

For humans and steemians, i am all in, for you all

To vote my witness, simply visit https://steemit.com/~witnesses and type in "steemgigs" into the first search box for witnesses or simply click Here to do it on one click!

If you want me to make witness voting decisions on your behalf, simply visit https://steemit.com/~witnesses and type in "surpassinggoogle" in the second box for proxy. 

For the tech people on steem, like developers etc you can certainly now use this full RPC 256GB public node: 

wss://steemd.steemgigs.org

Conclusion

 Offer a service under hashtag "steemgigs". Attempt out-of-the-boxness on #untalented.  

"Everyone has something to offer!" 

You have a home on the Steemgigs community on discord. The untalented family is also hosted on there! 

 

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