A First Breakup
As the first relationship, there is every tendency that one will be so naive, gullible and overwhelmed by the actions or deeds of the partner. So much trust is put in that partner so much that you will start to picture both of you standing on the altar someday, tying the knot. You will dream about it, you will fantasize about the party, the wedding gown, the bridal train, the cake and so on. It seems as though everything will remain perfect just as it is.
However, life happens and someday, this relationship probably hits the rocks and there's a break up. The effect of a break up can be in three major folds.
When Your Partner Initiates The Breakup
In this case, the effect can be so devastating, especially when that person cannot vividly give a valid reason for the break up, and you never saw it coming. He/she probably sees the relationship as a game, a part of youthful exuberance and thinks it's time to quit and move on. The other way is that you probably did something that displeases your partner and he/she refuses to forgive, ending the relationship is the only option. Either ways, the effect is bad on the victim.
When You Initiate The Breakup.
In this case, though the effect could also be very terrible, you would however have prepared your mind before announcing it. It could be that you have lost interest or trust in the other person, or you have noticed some attributes in the person that you do not want to associate with and so on. It is however unlikely for you as a first timer to see relationship as a game.
It is however not easy for a relationship first timer to demand a breakup as he tends to fight for love or remain more optimistic than someone who has jumped from one relationship to another severally.
When There is a Mutual Understanding for Breaking up.
This could be the most devastating form of break up as it is most times not as a result of love lost. It could be as a result of family disagreement, in terms of tribe, social caucauses, faith, etc. It could also be as a result of health issues like u matching genotypes, a terminal ailment, and so on. In this case, there is no distrust, not quarrel, no offense whatsoever against each other, but circumstances warrant that the break up occurs. Partners involved in this mostly remain close friends after breakup.
In what ever form a first break up might come, it is not a good experience. My first break up was not a good experience. More so, because she dropped the bomb for me on my facebook inbox! Oh, did you just say who does that? I wondered so too, but it was done. That was the end. It was a distance relationship, so that physical contact was not really there. This is what made the effect not so catastrophic for me. After I was sure she really wanted the breakup, I moved on...
What do you have to say about a first breakup. Do you wanna share your personal experience with us?
Please feel free to drop the message in the comment section.
I, as well as other readers will love to learn from you.